One Year Ago

In some ways it seems like just yesterday, in others it was years ago. But in reality, it was exactly one year ago today that I allowed my skull to be opened up, my brain manipulated, and a tumor to be resected. How was this even possible?  I cannot express how grateful I am to the most skilled neurosurgeon, Dr. Quinones-Hinojosa, and to my wonderful friends and family who have gone out of their way to make sure I am okay. It really does take a village.

Like many people who have survived a trauma, I am left wondering. Wondering if there is something I should be doing, need to be doing. Wondering what great truths I was to learn. Should I be accomplishing something fantastic? Earthshattering? World changing? What is my purpose?

So, what have I been doing? My 6-month scan was clean, and I was free to experience life! I had six months before my next scans to accomplish something great. Reality is, I am attempting to simplify the house. It’s like peeling an onion.

I have the 1950s living room furniture from my childhood home. The dining room was my grandmothers, and the huge green chair in the tv room is the one I purchased for my husband the day after he had a triple bypass. Bedrooms are the same. I even have the blue bedroom furniture I picked out when I was in elementary school. It’s eclectic, comfortable.

And then there’s the little stuff. I’ve been told that a creative person tends to have multiple projects going on at once. I must be very creative. Mine was that classroom at school that seemed to have just about anything in it. Very well organized, in my own way. The house is the same.

So, what else have I been doing? My girls and their families have visited during the summer, and I have visited them. The baby is now a walker, his sister turns 4 this week, and their three-year old cousin converses in length about the wonderful world of dinosaurs. Life is good.

One year ago today, a 6-hour surgery followed by a precarious 4-hour recovery and 3 days in ICU. It’s quite possible, and very normal now, to live with 3 of the 5 senses. Smell and taste are overrated.

My 1-year scans and appointment are scheduled for later this month. Any positive thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Postscript:

Have you ever heard the saying, “Angels are near when cardinals appear”? There are many such sayings, not only about cardinals, but also other birds and butterflies.

My 44th wedding anniversary would have been a few weeks ago. I decided to work in the garage that day. I have, strangely, always enjoyed the garage. It’s full of DI materials, holiday items, gardening materials and all sorts of other wonderful things. The weather was nice and I threw the garage door open to enjoy the fresh air. Suddenly a pair of cardinals appeared in the tree in the front yard. Before I knew it, the female cardinal flew into the garage. She did a couple of laps around and landed on the top of the garage door. She would not leave. She flew from place to place, and even did much fluttering by the inside door. I tried to get her on a broom so I could help her out, but she was not interested.  I was in and out, the bird was still there. The red male stayed on the tree singing his beautiful song. This lasted for hours.

Of course, I talked to them. Neighbors probably thought I was crazy. At dusk I went inside for a few minutes and returned to find both birds gone.

Angels are near when cardinals appear.